One evening I was pondering, thinking to myself, when I decided it was time. All I needed was to form a question and he answered back!
Me: So who am I?
Him: Who you are is what you make of yourself! You are a pawn in the life sequence for others and the King or queen of your own. You are a part of a major story you just don’t know it yet.
Me: Why these sequence of events?
Him: Your every action creates a sequence; everything that is around you and surrounds you is a reaction to what you have done in the past.
Me: Alright. How do I know what I have done is right or wrong? What is my purpose?
Him: There is no one right answer. What you do is a mere representation of what your perception of the ‘Right thing’ is. What is right for the spider is chaos for the fly. Who you are and what your purpose is a big mystery. It shall unfurl and you will know how your actions affected in that final result! Savour the taste of this mystery, savour this sensation. Who would like a mundane story where you know how it ends? Wait for it, every moment of anticipation shall be worth it.
Me: Oh hold on a minute, if I am responsible for my every action, who are you? What is your purpose?
Him: (he smirked) I am what you want me to be. Your faith is what makes me. Think of me as a stone, think of me in human form, think of me as a messiah when you need hope. I am nothing but merely what your belief makes me to be. If you do not believe in me, I do not exist for you. But that doesn’t change anything. If one day you decide to be an atheist, there is no curse that will follow, if you one day decide to burn down posters, break stone idols, there won’t be repercussions in terms of the end of the world. Have you seen a mother reduce her love for her little boy just because he is being naughty or throwing tantrums? My existence, however, is purely based on how you think it to be. I do not expect bribes, I do not want sacrifices. Everything that exists has its rights to exist; they were all made for a purpose. You may think you are changing its existence, but it has its own expiry date and a purpose to fulfil, you are only the tool which is bringing it about.
Me: I am confused. If we are the tools and what we do is already destined, why are we to face a future with repercussions of those actions?
Him: Don’t be. There is only so much that human brains are supposed to programme only so much they are to understand and process, only so much they are to grasp. Your curiosity is what keeps you growing. Science is the way you will unfurl every minute mystery. The further you go, more are the possibilities of greater knowledge. Remember, you don’t know what you don’t know unless you know of it later.
With more curls in my brain than in my hair, I pondered more. I am not to know of what I am to see, I should not be afraid of the unknown, just remember that I am a tool for the actions in the world. What has to happen is imminent, but I have to actively participate in these exact actions to receive full advantage of it. I am not a spectator; I am a part of this play. Have to seize the moment and continue with what I think is right.
Life and death are the goal posts. I must play the game in between; tread the path in this journey. I have no one else to answer to but myself. He lives within me. He is what I make him. He is hope, He is peace, He is the messiah, He is the future, He is the past, He is the friend, the companion in this journey and He is someone I can believe in without his expectations of anything in return. He will stand by me, guide me. He teaches me to be humble, selfless and appreciative of everything around me and what I have. He is an identity to the force that human kind doesn’t understand but names as the creator or the destroyer or just ignores its existence. He doesn’t force me to believe in him, doesn’t ask me to teach others his ways. He asks me to be and give what he gives me, again with no expectations of anything in return.
Is it too much to do?