Confessions of the Devil in my head….


There is a phase where everyone is almost convinced of some hidden (glamorous) truth about our life. Thanks to media, movies etc. it starts from a young age too and ranges from stupidity to seriousness. Someone thinks, superhuman, switched/separated at birth from a famous celebrity………People also necessarily think they are sick.

This was the time when I thought I had ADHD  (Attention Deficit Hyperactivity Disorder) or at least an early Alzheimer’s, dementia, whatever you wish to call it…. However silly it might sound, those were the exact emotions I went through for a few weeks. It does come back sometimes…. 🙂

 

Try to listen, try to understand….Use your memory, your head isn’t exactly filled with sand.

This ain’t the first time you’re doing this, Dear brain why are you taking a piss?

 

It seems normal, when I look at everything, But incoherence sure has an evil ring.

It doesn’t have any physical symptom, maybe, it takes time to blossom.

 

Sounds silly to tell people of my qualms, they might laugh and prescribe some balms.

Do you think I don’t like to pay attention? This behaviour doesn’t give me any remuneration.

 

I feel I am sure to lose what is left, sleep everyday like it’s been ages since I last slept?

Obsessing over the tiniest things, lacking interest even if big MJ sings.

 

I might need help but who’s to say, it might just decide to manifest one fine day.

Am I being paranoid or a hypochondriac… focus and attention is what I lack.

 

I am losing confidence every other day, but once in a while I feel I am okay.

I don’t crave attention, all this ain’t fake. Why would I act loopy, for God’s sake?!

 

I blame technology for dying brain cells, but others are surviving, are they on pills?

I have started to black out now, it seems worse, Oh God please take away this curse!

 

What does one have to do to prove they are right? I am trying hard to be normal, trying with all my might!

It isn’t trauma that can be blamed, I couldn’t be that weak. Maybe a few heartaches & disappointments, so to speak.

 

Should I quit, should I surrender so soon? Or should I start looking for the troublesome goon?

It’s me I am up against, it isn’t any stranger, will this take me down, or will I have my moment of grandeur?

 

I sometimes hope & wait to be woken from this nightmare where nothing is broken,

If life was a slate, could I erase my wrong choice, but would I remember them as wrong and maintain my poise?

 

I am praying this is a game of my mind. All the craziness passes and I leave all of this behind.

Life should go back to being smooth & me having fun, a few hitches, minor glitches I can live with  & that’s it, I should be done!!

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